The truth.

With everything else on my mind I have to deal with the biggest problem of my life: alcoholism. No, I’m not alcoholic but a close one is.
It tears me apart each day because it’s not his fault that he’s in this position. The horrible economy is. Everything was fine until we got a pleasant surprise from Ms. Economic Crisis.
Things have not been the same ever since. The one I look up to, the one I love , is losing himself under the influence of Serkova and Vat 69. Lately, it’s gotten even worse with him getting wasted from 11 am and then sleeping the day away.
How am I supposed to see life in a positive way when everything around me is a chaos?
I’ve been trying for years to help him and get him out of this phase but I can’t . I can’t do it anymore. I give up. I give up on him. It’s like he doesn’t exist anymore. Because all he does is drink and sleep.
In a (very) strange way, this makes me want to succeed more than anything else. I want to prove to him I’m worth it. And I just want to make SO much money so I can help my family and myself without ever worrying of running out of money. I want to get everything I was/am deprived of.
I know, life is a rollercoaster. There are highs and there are lows. The lows overshine the highs though and in the end we only remember the dark days. I’m all for positive vibes and stuff and if I’m being honest, I don’t see much sunshine lately.
I’ve been thinking of a lot of things to relieve my pain , a lot of terrible things…Let’s hope I never get too close to doing what I think will save me from all this misery. I pray for a better day. A better life.

What’s wrong with me?!?

In my last post, I talked about how I need connections and people in order to succeed in the field that I want to succeed in. The thing is : I’m so bloody awkward!! I thought I was over this whole drama. My biggest problem – except from my ‘ I can’t talk ‘ phase – is that I won’t greet until I see that the other person wants to greet me as well. It’s ridiculous. I was at the gym earlier right? Right! And suddenly an acquaintance of mine walks in. I see him ( I was on the treadmill) and he catches me looking at him but instead of saying hi I turn the other way. WTF? Oh my GOD! 15 minutes go by and we haven’t greeted each other yet. By this point I was sure he hates me and stuff and I could sense his annoyance when I finally talked to him!
The same happens with one of the personal trainers at the gym. And he’s like me : Won’t greet until I greet. It’s so stupid , all I have to do is say hi and yet my brain keeps stopping me. Why is this happening to me? I don’t wanna be like this. It’s destroying me and my image for the future.
I promised myself to start being MORE socialable and approachable in 2016 because it is my life and I hate it when people dislike me because of my weirdness. I’m a mess.😦😛

Am I invincible?

How many of you have people in your lives that you used to share your most valuable secrets with and now they don’t even say hi?
I have met so many people in school throughout the years that if I talked to all of the I would be mega popular. The thing is , after elementary school everything and everybody changes for a strange reason . And I ain’t talking about puberty etc.
For instance, grades 1 to 6 I had a pack of 4 amazing best friends . Now I talk to only one of them . It’s crazy!
I’m the type of person that if you don’t show me that you want to greet me then I won’t even look at you when you pass me by in the hallway . It’s socially destroying me because I come off as an anti-social weirdo when in reality I’m a very fun and easy-going person.
Maybe it’s not them thought , but me . Maybe I am too quiet to begin with . At school I am known as the quiet kid sitting in the second desk by the window. Maybe I need to make a BANG and let my true colours shine .
My awkwardness doesn’t help either for that matter😛 . I should definately work on myself because if I want to succeed I need people , I need connections . picmonkey edited 6.jpg

The road to success?

Many people wonder : How can I make it big? Like those stars on T.V. ?
That’s the same question I have been asking myself the past 2 years . How? In a world where social media is everything and getting your name out there is as simple as clicking » Post » , how do I get noticed?
Don’t get me wrong I don’t just want to have fame and all the riches of the world. I want to be known for something I have achieved . But it’s very easy to lose yourself in your search for the road to success. My cousin once asked me : »Why do you go after all the double taps and views and stuff? What do you want?» Well I want to feel loved . Not that I don’t feel loved it’s just that I have been stripped off so many valuable things like a happy family and a good childhood that I need to feel validated . I need to feel worthy . Becoming an actor and eventually famous will heal all those wounds I have . But how? How do I get myself out there when there are so many others looking for the same thing? Being talented ain’t enough anymore apparently. You have to be lucky as well. Something I sure as hell am not .
To wrap things up , I wish I knew what my future holds . I need to know if all the worrying is worth the while? And what about the road to success? How does one find it?


 Here’s a very brief introduction to my blog and myself .
I’m Jacob . 17 years old , from Greece . I love anything creative . Dancing , singing ( they say I’m a terrible singer but f them ) , I run my own YouTube channel ( link –> ) and my dream is to become an actor . I’m a geek when it comes to music . I know everything!! Nicole Scherzinger is my idol and hero. Other than that , I live with my parents and brother who’s 7 . Greece is beautiful but I want to move to the US and make my dreams come true. I don’t feel like I belong here. More to come in the next blog. In my blog you will find posts about my life , music , acting world and anything else that I want to talk about really .

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Me :)