With everything else on my mind I have to deal with the biggest problem of my life: alcoholism. No, I’m not alcoholic but a close one is.
In my last post, I talked about how I need connections and people in order to succeed in the field that I want to succeed in. The thing is : I’m so bloody awkward!! I thought I was over this whole drama. My biggest problem – except from my ‘ I can’t talk ‘ phase – is that I won’t greet until I see that the other person wants to greet me as well. It’s ridiculous. I was at the gym earlier right? Right! And suddenly an acquaintance of mine walks in. I see him ( I was on the treadmill) and he catches me looking at him but instead of saying hi I turn the other way. WTF? Oh my GOD! 15 minutes go by and we haven’t greeted each other yet. By this point I was sure he hates me and stuff and I could sense his annoyance when I finally talked to him!
The same happens with one of the personal trainers at the gym. And he’s like me : Won’t greet until I greet. It’s so stupid , all I have to do is say hi and yet my brain keeps stopping me. Why is this happening to me? I don’t wanna be like this. It’s destroying me and my image for the future.
I promised myself to start being MORE socialable and approachable in 2016 because it is my life and I hate it when people dislike me because of my weirdness. I’m a mess. 😦 😛
How many of you have people in your lives that you used to share your most valuable secrets with and now they don’t even say hi?
I have met so many people in school throughout the years that if I talked to all of the I would be mega popular. The thing is , after elementary school everything and everybody changes for a strange reason . And I ain’t talking about puberty etc.
For instance, grades 1 to 6 I had a pack of 4 amazing best friends . Now I talk to only one of them . It’s crazy!
I’m the type of person that if you don’t show me that you want to greet me then I won’t even look at you when you pass me by in the hallway . It’s socially destroying me because I come off as an anti-social weirdo when in reality I’m a very fun and easy-going person.
Maybe it’s not them thought , but me . Maybe I am too quiet to begin with . At school I am known as the quiet kid sitting in the second desk by the window. Maybe I need to make a BANG and let my true colours shine .
My awkwardness doesn’t help either for that matter 😛 . I should definately work on myself because if I want to succeed I need people , I need connections .
Many people wonder : How can I make it big? Like those stars on T.V. ?
That’s the same question I have been asking myself the past 2 years . How? In a world where social media is everything and getting your name out there is as simple as clicking » Post » , how do I get noticed?
Don’t get me wrong I don’t just want to have fame and all the riches of the world. I want to be known for something I have achieved . But it’s very easy to lose yourself in your search for the road to success. My cousin once asked me : »Why do you go after all the double taps and views and stuff? What do you want?» Well I want to feel loved . Not that I don’t feel loved it’s just that I have been stripped off so many valuable things like a happy family and a good childhood that I need to feel validated . I need to feel worthy . Becoming an actor and eventually famous will heal all those wounds I have . But how? How do I get myself out there when there are so many others looking for the same thing? Being talented ain’t enough anymore apparently. You have to be lucky as well. Something I sure as hell am not .
To wrap things up , I wish I knew what my future holds . I need to know if all the worrying is worth the while? And what about the road to success? How does one find it?
Here’s a very brief introduction to my blog and myself .
I’m Jacob . 17 years old , from Greece . I love anything creative . Dancing , singing ( they say I’m a terrible singer but f them ) , I run my own YouTube channel ( link –> http://www.youtube.com/c/iVoofficial ) and my dream is to become an actor . I’m a geek when it comes to music . I know everything!! Nicole Scherzinger is my idol and hero. Other than that , I live with my parents and brother who’s 7 . Greece is beautiful but I want to move to the US and make my dreams come true. I don’t feel like I belong here. More to come in the next blog. In my blog you will find posts about my life , music , acting world and anything else that I want to talk about really .